Archive for December 2017
Colder than a catlicker's nose
Colder than a catlicker’s nose by David Benjamin “We strongly encourage all New Yorkers to stay inside as much as possible… as the cold weather continues. Check on neighbors when you can and bring your pets inside.” — Mayor Bill De Blasio, New York City, temp. 19° F “That’s winter in Wisconsin. It’s nothing really…
Read MoreNew York polite
New York polite by David Benjamin “It is one of the sublime provincialities of New York that its inhabitants lap up trivial gossip about essential nobodies they’ve never set eyes on, while continuing to boast that they could live somewhere for twenty years without so much as exchanging pleasantries with their neighbors across the hall.”…
Read MorePerverted and proud
Perverted and proud by David Benjamin “Thou shalt not diddle thy neighbor’s daughter.” — Eleventh Commandment, Exodus 20; 17.5 (deleted) MADISON, Wis. — The Internet is just brimming over with surprises — like the other day when I tried to access the NAACP, for reaction to the election of Democratic senatorial candidate Doug Jones, a…
Read MoreBarn cats, Botox and fiscal conservatism
Barn cats, Botox and fiscal conservatism by David Benjamin “I think not having the estate tax recognizes the people that are investing. As opposed to those that are just spending every darn penny they have, whether it’s on booze or women or movies.” — Sen. Chuck Grassley Ever since mein Drumpfenfeuhrer started stumping for the…
Read More"No room at the inn"
“No room at the inn” by David Benjamin It was a bitterly cold winter afternoon, in a month that would someday be known as December, in the town of Bethlehem, when the weary newlyweds — a dewy maiden big with child and her grizzled sexagenarian spouse — limped into the little hamlet. The girl was…
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