The Weekly Screed

Stir-crazy in Dairyland

By David Benjamin | 04/24/2024 | Comments Off on Stir-crazy in Dairyland

by David Benjamin   “Conspiracy is a term which gets slighted. Conspiracy theories have been right about a lot of things.”  —Aaron Rodgers   PARIS—Maybe Wisconsin makes you stir-crazy. I mean, if you’re not from Wisconsin in the first place, and you’re not used to all the men in Wisconsin mumbling, so you have to…

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“Down-the-block” tough

By David Benjamin | 04/19/2024 | Comments Off on “Down-the-block” tough

by David Benjamin   “Don’t let him bluff you, Mr. Louie! Be firm. Stop him!” —Sherman   MADISON, Wis.—“Fight like hell!” quoth the demagogue, twenty feet above his congregation, wreathed in cashmere, framed among flags, shielded by bulletproof glass, flanked by bodyguards.  “Charge!” he roared, dispatching his masses as he slid into his limousine and…

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Sins of the father

By David Benjamin | 04/12/2024 | Comments Off on Sins of the father

by David Benjamin   “The stories of young men searching for their fathers are the stories of young men who through their adventures father themselves by doing for themselves what they hoped a father would do for them.” —William S. Wilson “Someone once said that every man is trying to live up to his father’s expectations…

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A pregnant pause in the word wars

By David Benjamin | 04/05/2024 | Comments Off on A pregnant pause in the word wars

by David Benjamin   “‘You’re not allowed to call them dinosaurs any more,’ said Yo-less. ‘It’s speciesist. You have to call them pre-petroleum persons.’” —Terry Pratchett    MADISON, Wis.—Ever since I heard, in grade school, the passage in Matthew 25—“Truly, I say to you, as you did to one of the least of my brethren,…

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“Who are those guys?”

By David Benjamin | 03/28/2024 | Comments Off on “Who are those guys?”

by David Benjamin   “Sundance Kid: I can’t swim! “Butch Cassidy: Are you crazy? The fall will probably kill ya.” — William Goldman    MADISON, Wis.—Once, many moons ago, while researching a book about inventions, I toured a carpet factory in South Carolina. The company was a giant in its industry, with hundreds of non-union…

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Follicle wars, conformity follies

By David Benjamin | 03/22/2024 | Comments Off on Follicle wars, conformity follies

by David Benjamin “Get a haircut and get a real job/ Clean your act up and don’t be a slob/ Get it together like your big brother Bob … ” —George Thorogood and the Destoyers   MADISON, Wis.—My favorite vignette in America’s endlessly recycling follicle wars appears in Robert Zemeckis’ little-noted but remarkably significant—and fun!—film,…

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A voice in the distance

By David Benjamin | 03/15/2024 | Comments Off on A voice in the distance

by David Benjamin   “Back then, it was students against the institution. Now it’s very different because it’s student against student.”” —Paul Brest, professor emeritus, Stanford Law School   MADISON, Wis.—When I was matriculating at a little liberal arts outpost called Rockford College (pop. 450), there were two noticeably outspoken right-wing students. One, from Boston,…

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Privy counsel

By David Benjamin | 03/07/2024 | Comments Off on Privy counsel

by David Benjamin “… conservatives … argue that the crisis in Americasn schools is … about leftist teachers propagandizing on critical race theory and giving kids new pronouns while denying them safe bathrooms.” —Nicholas Kristoff, The New York Times   MADISON, Wis.—In Nicholas Kristoff’s eloquent assessment of the real problem with American public schools, I…

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Toward a philosophy of the gun

By David Benjamin | 03/01/2024 | Comments Off on Toward a philosophy of the gun

by David Benjamin   “Speaking personally, you can have my gun, but you’ll take my book when you pry my cold, dead fingers off of the binding.” —Stephen King   MADISON, Wis.—My gun of choice is a .22 caliber rifle with a telescopic sight. It’s actually the only gun I’ve ever used. It belonged to…

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“The usual deal for hard-up rich guys”

By David Benjamin | 02/19/2024 | Comments Off on “The usual deal for hard-up rich guys”

by David Benjamin   “Life is little more than a loan shark: It exacts a very high rate of interest for the few pleasures it concedes.” —Luigi Pirandello   (An ill-lit table in the dark corner of a bar in Hell’s Kitchen. A man, hatless and nattily attired in a custom tailored blue suit with…

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