Politics
Stir-crazy in Dairyland
by David Benjamin “Conspiracy is a term which gets slighted. Conspiracy theories have been right about a lot of things.” —Aaron Rodgers PARIS—Maybe Wisconsin makes you stir-crazy. I mean, if you’re not from Wisconsin in the first place, and you’re not used to all the men in Wisconsin mumbling, so you have to…
Read More“Down-the-block” tough
by David Benjamin “Don’t let him bluff you, Mr. Louie! Be firm. Stop him!” —Sherman MADISON, Wis.—“Fight like hell!” quoth the demagogue, twenty feet above his congregation, wreathed in cashmere, framed among flags, shielded by bulletproof glass, flanked by bodyguards. “Charge!” he roared, dispatching his masses as he slid into his limousine and…
Read MoreFollicle wars, conformity follies
by David Benjamin “Get a haircut and get a real job/ Clean your act up and don’t be a slob/ Get it together like your big brother Bob … ” —George Thorogood and the Destoyers MADISON, Wis.—My favorite vignette in America’s endlessly recycling follicle wars appears in Robert Zemeckis’ little-noted but remarkably significant—and fun!—film,…
Read MoreA voice in the distance
by David Benjamin “Back then, it was students against the institution. Now it’s very different because it’s student against student.”” —Paul Brest, professor emeritus, Stanford Law School MADISON, Wis.—When I was matriculating at a little liberal arts outpost called Rockford College (pop. 450), there were two noticeably outspoken right-wing students. One, from Boston,…
Read More“The usual deal for hard-up rich guys”
by David Benjamin “Life is little more than a loan shark: It exacts a very high rate of interest for the few pleasures it concedes.” —Luigi Pirandello (An ill-lit table in the dark corner of a bar in Hell’s Kitchen. A man, hatless and nattily attired in a custom tailored blue suit with…
Read MoreThe Houthis in our midst
by David Benjamin “The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is “What does a woman want?” — Sigmund Freud, to Marie Bonaparte NAPILI POINT, Hawaii—Once, in the course of writing a novel, my…
Read MoreDo helicopter parents have heliport kids?
by David Benjamin “Herbert T. Gillis: Son, is this the book you were looking for? “Dobie Gillis: Oh, yeah. Thanks, Dad. I don’t know what I’d do without you. “Herbert T. Gillis: Yeah, neither do I, but just thinking about it has made my whole day.” —“The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis” MADISON,…
Read MoreThe once and future zombie apocalypse
by David Benjamin “This is the way the world ends; not with a bang or a whimper, but with zombies breaking down the back door.” ― Amanda Hocking, Hollowland PARIS — It has long been one of my items of faith that actor Stanley Tucci has never accepted a bad script. This conviction…
Read MoreWelcome to the Middle Ages
by David Benjamin “I don’t want to abolish government. I simply want to reduce it to the size where I can drag it into the bathroom and drown it in the bathtub.” ―Grover Norquist It all started when the earth-moving equipment arrived and commenced ripping up the pavement…
Read MoreParents: Got a life?
by David Benjamin “Schoolboys are a merciless race, individually they are angels, but together, especially in schools, they are often merciless.” ― Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov MADISON, Wis.— Let’s try to overlook the screaming irony of the Republican Party fighting for “parents rights” after winning a fifty-year crusade against women’s rights to control…
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