Satire
My rights are bigger than your rights
MONDAY, JULY 28, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#685) My rights are bigger than your rights by David Benjamin “In recent decisions, the conservative majority on the Supreme Court has made clear its view that corporations are people, with all the attendant rights. They are entitled to free speech… They are entitled to religious beliefs… Up…
Read MoreThe semantic conundrum of the war in Ukraine
MONDAY, JULY 21, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#684) The semantic conundrum of the war in Ukraine by David Benjamin “I haven’t got a brain… only straw.” — Scarecrow, The Wizard of Oz MADISON, Wis. — War is always more about semantics than ideas. This principle applies bleakly to the mess in eastern Ukraine, where an…
Read MoreWhat about Bob?
THURSDAY, JUNE 12, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#680) What about Bob? by David Benjamin “Grosscup here.” “Hello… I’m calling for a Mr. G. Grayling Grosscup, chief executive officer of… let’s see… Gilt Edge Investment Strategies.” “Speaking.” “Oh! Well, hi there. My name is Rosalie Higby — with H.R., at Amalgamated Tanaka USA. Mr. Grosscup, as…
Read MoreWho is Ben Gozzy, and why the hell doesn’t he shut up?
FRIDAY, MAY 8, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#675) Who is Ben Gozzy, and why the hell doesn’t he shut up? by David Benjamin “Gowdy’s rapid ascent in the party fits closely with what House Republicans are doing in this midterm election year: abandoning any pretense of legislating in favor of unremitting hostilities with the White…
Read MoreMovie treatment: "North by Southwest by Way of Queens"
FRIDAY, APRIL 25, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#673) Movie treatment: North by Southwest by Way of Queens by David Benjamin (Opening scene, the Oak Room of a luxury New York hotel) Ad exec Roger Thornhill [played, ideally, by George Clooney but Matt Damon would be OK] phones his mom. Afterwards, he’s intercepted by suited thugs.…
Read MoreIs sex Republican?
FRIDAY, APRIL 11, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#671) Is sex Republican? by David Benjamin MADISON, Wis. — After studying the sexual assault allegations by two women against Wisconsin state Rep. Bill Kramer, I can finally understand Missouri Congressman Todd Akin’s seemingly benighted views — blurted out last year — about “legitimate rape.” Evidently, Republicans like…
Read More“In the battle, we're tried and true…”
You gonna argue with a guy named Hensleigh Wedgwood?
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 28, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#665) You gonna argue with a guy named Hensleigh Wedgwood? by David Benjamin “… But at night, brother howlet, over the woods, Toll the world to thy chantry; Sing to the bats’ sleek sisterhoods Full complines with gallantry: Then, owls and bats, Cowls and twats, Monks and nuns,…
Read More"Drop that shih-tzu, or I'll shootcha!"
THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 20, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#664) “Drop that shih-tzu, or I’ll shootcha!” by David Benjamin “… ‘Watch it!’ [Cordell] Jude yelled to Adkins, who was mentally disabled, according to USA Today. Adkins then swung what looked like a pipe in the air and Jude shot and killed him — the pipe-like object turned…
Read MoreDemocracy’s loss is free enterprise’s gain
WEDNESDAY, JUNE 26, 2013 The Weekly Screed (#634) Democracy’s loss is free enterprise’s gain by David Benjamin MADISON, Wis. — No one anticipated the Supreme Court’s evisceration of the Voting Rights Act of 1965 as presciently as my friend, Wilhelm “Jim Crow” Bienfang, America’s greatest “idea man.” Trusting in the Court’s right-wing majority to continue…
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