Sports
Stir-crazy in Dairyland
by David Benjamin “Conspiracy is a term which gets slighted. Conspiracy theories have been right about a lot of things.” —Aaron Rodgers PARIS—Maybe Wisconsin makes you stir-crazy. I mean, if you’re not from Wisconsin in the first place, and you’re not used to all the men in Wisconsin mumbling, so you have to…
Read MoreFat Linda throws an incomplete pass
by David Benjamin “Data technologies do not simply predict the future by guessing what an individual or group might do or want to do in the future. It is rather that those futures already exist, completely realized, and they reach backwards into the present to guide it. The possible paths for our desires to travel…
Read MoreKarma? Schadenfreude? Quel dommage?
by David Benjamin “Rodgers’ career probably is over. Few athletes come back stronger than ever from an Achilles’ rupture and, given Rodgers’ flirtations with retirement this past offseason, it’s hard to imagine him putting in 11 months of rigorous rehab just to play one more season.” ―Tom Silverstein, Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel MADISON, Wis.—For the last few…
Read MoreWhat if they gave a game and nobody (black) came?
by David Benjamin “Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did and it never will. Find out just what any people will quietly submit to and you have found out the exact measure of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them, and these will continue till they are resisted with either words…
Read MoreAre you ready for some foopball?
by David Benjamin “On TV the people can see it. On radio you’ve got to create it.” — Bob Uecker MADISON, Wis. — I’m not Ohio State. I’ve been an avid Green Bay Packers fan since I was twelve, but, despite repeated suggestions by TV color commentators like Daryl Johnston, I am not—personally—the…
Read MoreWhy not the “Yankee Doodle Dandies”?
by David Benjamin “After years of contemplation, Washington announced in January that the team’s nickname search had been cut down to seven options: Armada, Brigade, Red Hogs, Presidents, Commanders, RedWolves, and Defenders.” — Jack Dougherty, Sportscasting MADISON, Wis.—I’m wearing a t-shirt that honors the 1932 Jersey City Skeeters. This somewhat silly but unique monicker derives…
Read More“Dear Twelve…”
by David Benjamin Aaron Rodgers 1265 Lombardi Avenue Green Bay Wisconsin Dear Aaron: You’re an odd duck. I mean that in the most complimentary sense. I’m one, too. Been that way since — best guess — the summer before second grade when I was corrupted by Chucky Dutcher. You’re also a know-it-all. Me, too. Like…
Read MoreThe child soldiers of football
by David Benjamin “I think that they’re making a terrible mistake and they’re injuring children’s brains. It’s the second child abuse crisis in the Catholic Church.” — Denny Doyle MADISON, Wis. — There’s a visionary in Cincinnati, although some consider him a crank, named Denny Doyle, who’s trying to convince the Catholic Youth Organization to…
Read MoreBaron de Coubertin, rolling over in his grave
by David Benjamin PARIS — It’s time to mothball the Olympics. Don’t be shocked. This has been done before. The world went without the Games for 1,500 years before Baron de Coubertin inaugurated the modern Olympiad in Athens in 1896. Today, the impending XXXII Olympiad, Burlesque Show and Sashimi Banquet in Tokyo very likely has…
Read MoreThis isn’t really about Aaron Rodgers
by David Benjamin “Dan, there’s not a source.” — Adam Schefter on “The Dan Patrick Show,” 6 May MADISON, Wis. — Two weeks after impact, a lingering cloud of doubt hovers over the alleged scoop by ESPN’s Adam Schefter — reported on the National Football League’s Draft Day — that Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron…
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